Bleak Waves

I want to crawl out of my own skin and jump through a plate glass window, I want to sob until there’s nothing left. Instead I’m sitting here staring vacantly into nothingness again, mindlessly eyeballing the furniture and praying for some form of relief from the reminders. All the hopes smashed, all the dreams broken, all the might have beens. This has to get better right? I know I’ve left a trail of casualties who have endured the same through my own ineptitude and unwavering consistency in making the wrong choices. I keep asking myself the why of it all which is a surefire way to spiral down and out into nothingness. Maybe that’s where I’m headed for again, nothingness. Empty transitioning to the next stage of future. If I could wail it out I would, but there’s a limit to what I can tap at any given moment. “What the fuck Fred, this one got his wires crossed over again and now we’re dealing with the sizzling discharge.” Waves it seems, fucking waves and buried in the absence of my constant companion and closest friend I thought. What do I know about shit, I’m still just running blindly forward while trying to find my way in the dark.

5 thoughts on “Bleak Waves

  1. There are, the times in our lives when we feel, we’d hit our, all-time low, and we can’t see any hope up ahead, and yet, we pick our selves up, and, keep putting one foot in front of, the, other, because that is, all that we can, do…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s the callousness of one’s own mind that can do us in…take it and reflect think of what might come next. No one is ever really broken. Take the time to actually heal melting neurons.

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