Elegantly Disturbed Haikus #2

Spartan winks tell all, Shirking duty when eyes meet, Spellbound in such deep heat. Tentacles probing, Suction pads across sore lips, Beaks of hardened stone. Crystallize my veins, Wanton hate turn…

Source: Elegantly Disturbed Haikus #2

Addiction Recovery & Borderline Personality Disorder (from PsychCentral)

This is a fascinating and detailed read highlighting some of the specific challenges facing addicts seeking to recovery and dealing simultaneously with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD). Great material for anyone interested in the overlapping issues and frustrations in treatment for these two damaging illnesses.

hand-on-glass-for-addiction-and-borderline

PsychCentral Article

Ink Leaks

Spilling ink from your soul.

Loosening around the edges,

With screws tweaked hard until they’re embedded deep.

Frothy blackened ink flows with silkiness,

Out across the indents to smear your tools.

Graceful and petulant the grime shines,

A mirrored tone that shakes each reflection.

Fingers slide off in an impatient rush,

Avoiding the wandering glaze seeping out with each torque.

Whetstone polish to sharpen the blade,

That soldiering behemoth of broken muse will never do as bade.

ink-covered-face

Craterellus cornicopioides

From pseudonymous themselves

Because, are you kidding me. Verbal brain sex without a condom. Thank you pseudonymous #wordplay #poetry #crazy

I had a vision while everyone was sleeping that I would find you where the redwoods met the madrones I was to go there alone six years ago with my perforated medicine water bottle backpack two pape…

Source: Craterellus cornicopioides

NONFICTION — A Day in the Life

Thanks Twisted Sister {Ed. Note — the following is from the writer’s own site, a truly amazing high-speed journey through life.} Throughout the course of my life I’ve experienced the true extremes of the spe…

Source: NONFICTION — A Day in the Life

The Update of Hope – 1/12/13

My apologies for not getting on earlier. Everyone following and others have been so incredibly supportive of this site and my work that I feel guilty over a prolonged absence.

However, for the first time in many moons that absence is not related to horrifying events, rather the beginning of a renewed vigor for life and the culmination of some challenging work.

I am being tested at a new position in the hopes it will be come something long term – I’ve thrown myself into it beyond 100% in the attempt to do so. Happily, and with great satisfaction.

I’m finally paying child support, not as much as I would like to be giving to my kids, but everything that I can afford. Consistently and with the intention of finally becoming a consistent presence.

I talk to my children once a week, reliably, and without fail. I have 5 different alarms that go off and warm me so that if I collapse in exhaustion either the alarms, or calls from multiple people warning me, will get my ass up to be there to speak with my remarkable son and daughter. While the animosity is thick between my ex-wife and I, somewhere I’m finding the appreciation and respect for her that I should have. She’s been raising my children while I was unable to. It is my responsibility to earn my way back into the family I destroyed, not expect it handed back with a smile. I don’t think that way all the time, but as I build a better existence and confidence I find that it takes away the undercurrents that I let drag me farther from them.

I’m living in a stable location….more than 40 moves in 2-years….STABILITY would be a blessing in so many ways. It took me almost 3-weeks just to put my suitcase away because I was certain that something would go wrong…now I’m considering bringing more clothes that have somehow survived all the travel.

My squishy and delicious Mimi without who the world would have stopped so long ago. Forever and always will I be hers, and she mine.

Happiness.

I think I’m getting closer to happiness.

God damn if it didn’t take one hell of a journey to get here, and he (or she) shows that I gave up time and time again. They also know I’m terrified that the other shoe will drop at any second – usually I’m the one wearing it when it does.

I’m optimistically terrified of arriving at a new future, a start to something better, and becoming what I was intended to be.

My love to everyone who continues to support the blog. I will be trying to get more consistent again as everything balances out.

Happy 2017, merry-post “holiday insert” – and my wishes for kindness, satisfaction, joy, and contentment in the coming year.

Tonight the world is peaceful.

peaceful-night-2

-S