A Road Home

Love under the moon.

A note from Skye: at a juncture in our relationship where I had left the woman who is now my wife behind to go on a callously stupid and ill-fated journey elsewhere, she inscribed a note on the blackboard I have inside the roof of my truck (then my home). She wrote me, “Never forget, that home is where the heart is.” Despite going through terrible fights and challenges as I lost my mind following a tearful reunion and after our marriage which eventually led to my diagnosis of schizoaffective, she has remained a constant presence and holds my soul, mind, and thoughts to a more serene path than I have ever imagined to be possible. It isn’t easy for either of us sometimes, but in honor of the forthcoming holiday and a desire to put a smile on her face, the short poem below came about. The dog I had at the time which came to love her as well was named Luna – hence the image attached. Thank you for reading.

That beast with feel good flames,

It shatters personality with energizing fear,

Makes a whole of fractured creatures,

Absence felt but unseen shines light,

On the gnarled path to something true and right.

Rather than lost and alone we find our way here,

Out of the forest of broken hopes,

To a land fabricated of dreams and words,

Of possibilities and limitless features.

When we journey beyond the ken of all that’s known,

Risk it all on a gambled passion turned more,

We’ve started a walk down that most crooked road,

The one that leads home.

Find your love.

Word Salad

Frogspawn in a makeup case,

Don’t deny the solipsism dear, I saw them clowns from outerspace.

Bushwacked closet curtains trailing hem,

Differential sputum is my enemy and no best friend.

Tragedy is wanton and dropped badly in the soup,

Dipped in twice because your nice even in the gloop.

So Socratic in the mnemonics if chalice is your name,

I’d throw a roll or maybe two if I knew it weren’t a game.

Buccolic in the afterlife where robots go to play,

Shame about the shitty plight that none would dare to say.

So cat it up with meow mix blaring,

Sure as hell that rubbernecking dog is still staring.

Broken

So the light fades away on red singed words, I wish it had never come.

I’d have painted it across a thousand worlds, but love can never find some.

So I’ll sit down amid this torrent and shed my tears of loss,

Something’s never change at all, especially this which is so abhorrent.

College Motivation

Wenatchee Valley College commons during summer with the fountain running,.
Wenatchee Valley College during summer.

Heighten your aspirations,

Get ‘em up where they see the sun,

Float like something lighter than desperation,

Blood soaked to the tarnished beat of your life,

But succeeding despite.

Dude,

Just get the fuck up and move.

Do it,

Even the schoolwork,

Even the homework,

You’ve had the harder lessons,

The ones that left the scars,

Now put some time into the paper ones,

The ones that will lift you to the stars.

Frivolous waste of time you once said,

Now absorb and baptize in the act of learning,

Walk onto a campus,

Where you can be something and never look back.

Into the Blaze

Burn baby burn, home on fire.

White toothed grin wholesome and out of place, build me a river with curtains of tears from a different space.

Washed out playground full of mice and mace, deny me witheringly those indulgent ways.

Nevermore inside compulsive daze, shackle those bodies into wandering maze.

Labyrinth mode to occupy the days, if not for you then into the blaze.

Musings from the Borderlands (BPD)

Tuberculosis in those gasping fits of indulgent wheezes spraying the viscous life goo out in a spray. A misting of not so mild proportions even if the emotional fluid is less clingy initially than blood, it still latches on and shows up in the worst of spots.

The time you decided to gauge your ears and that a pen was the logical jump – pressure couldn’t hold back the infection, or the stable nutrient sludge from leaving a heavy velvet trail down the side of your neck.

Pressure can’t hold back everything, it builds on itself until there’s a raucous and feverish exhalation as the balance shifts and pop there goes the cap.

Just so with love in the quieter stages of a new relationship where urgency tears apart at your genitals, your heart, your mind, and all you want to do is sleep and talk and fuck and cuddle and touch and gaze and there’s a missing component sitting at the back of your mind whenever you’re not around the object of your infatuation soon to beget something more….

It’s an incredible array of emotions that comprise us as people in this world, so much so that the involuntary act of vomiting up a tempest of undigested feels and such onto another can be as easily described in the lead in as something detestable, rather than beautiful.

I know I like to think to that moment when the dam breaks and truest of joys radiates in a way that lets energy ripple its way across the lips and my skin seems to be afire with passionate rightness….love, or anger, sometimes they can be dual sides to the same ride, a peaceful lake to a jet boat ride or some such adrenaline rush.

But man, when I look into those eyes.

I still melt.