Regrets on Repeat During a Rabid Quarantine Contemplation

1000th Album from Out of Line Records
Album cover from German band Signal Aout 42

Give me back the good ole’ days,
when I didn’t know I had been a dick,
before my eyes got opened wide
when I didn’t know I was supposed to think that I was slick.
’cause now there’s nowhere left to run,
the drugs aren’t making new connections,
copper wire all stripped bare and caked in black,
who knew that feeling guilty wouldn’t be so fun.
When disassociation was best friend,
wide-eyed ignorance was true enough
shame comes boiling on
like napalm from
the surface of a once forgiving sun.
So self-important in critique
that I’m burying the good parts inside the shit
convinced that its still black and white
and regardless of the truth,
I deserve to be punished.
for the right, the wrong, the sick,
that stupid mindless babble
even my well-intentioned songs.
Keep it all so serious now,
that panic seems always at the door,
instead of basking in the freedom from
that monster inside that damaged so much the world.
Enjoy the chance to roll again,
spin through ridiculously insane normalcy,
let feet hit a brand new road and leave behind insecurities, all fallacies–

—start the insurrection.

Squandered Clout

Black smoke picture from Unsplash
Black Smoke from Unsplash

Hat trick pony across the line,
shepherded wisdom you felt was fine.
Triumph and fall away
don’t presume your sacrilegious idolatry on me.
Priming pumps at the Chaos Madcap
shoplifting tears having a panic attack.
Raze the Earth come all blue
destination choke back for our school.
Anti-hero rapture chord in flight
pulled on so loosely
now cinched up tight.
Bargaining with soul to sell
minister no more hearts and regrets in hell.
Hardcore stomps and tromps on you
confinement time in a human zoo.
We’ve got no more noise but slaves to quell
freedom squandered,
no one spent it well.

Shallow Waters

Apathetic care drags wholesomeness down the dangerous creek

where waters rage powerfully against the incumbent pillars of rock.

Sultry demonstrations here and now crack the hold of hands

that have grasped with whitening knuckles their given power.

Emotionally jaundiced and caprice ridden youngsters in their aging prime

refuse to sacrifice their voices or to be hidden behind,

in the land of pay-to-be-innocent amid torrents of guilt

we stand shackled beneath, willingly subservient to the greed.

When I was more youthful I’m certain the waters didn’t roil

quite as badly as they do today under the imminent storm.

Maybe that’s because I cared less for the mortality we all face

and less still what tomorrow would bring as I sat there

comfortably chemically saturated in oceans of ambiguity.

Or I hadn’t met the right woman to turn my mind open to the world

plagued by self-indulgent hypocrisy that sets teeth on edge.

Someone merciless and loving enough to place growth

and expansion of knowledge ahead of the safety of a comfort zone

and the false sense of security that it provided.

Because the walls are collapsing around that shaded isle.

Where once no harm could befall us, we are now beset

by the kinds of animals that know only one definition—predatory.

We’re coming to the end, and there are no further shallow waters,

we’ve been standing in them and cooling our feet, for far too long.