Totally burned out from my own stupidity.
I’m a bundle of rubber bands soaked in gas and shot from the pointer finger of a child into a hornets nest occupied recently and hanging ominously over the heads of the “citizens” I interact with and think I care about.
Marbles on the floor.
Bloated pig boy climbing a greased pole with a pit of leaches for incentive.
A wobbling top hatted cat man sans tail inviting strangers and catastrophe into other strangers homes.
I’m Murphy’s Law made flesh and bone. When Murph cuts me slack, I hack the rope.
A failed sexual attempt and that moment when you know it just ain’t going to happen. Suspended in that moment where a million statements collide with shame, curiosity, frustration, resignation, and humiliation is the tug boat that hauls my mental shipwreck offshore to sink.
I’m birds glued to a windshield.
I’m an emotional, meat bodied Golem running on a baseline lizard brain and no directive.
It’s exhausting…shouldn’t be…doesn’t have to be. No one need get hurt emotionally. I think the drunken assembly team floating out in the ether had an apprentice on shift for when the wiring went in. Fuck.