The Stuff of Stars

Blue Star Banner

The stuff of stars is what she says we’re made of,
Wildly burning out into the nothing behind warming halos.
Waves of ink staining heaven above wrap around them,
They blaze on in resistance.
Never faltering.
Even though they are but a Dot waging war against an endless sea,
Each wails its personal music into the beyond to remind us that we are not alone,
And some of us are even Angela’s.

Smoothed Border Pink Star

Learning: Easy Read on BPD

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD. This is also a common acronym for Bi-Polar Disorder, to differentiate, Bi-Polar is often BPAD) is more than just an irregularity in personality. It is a serious and debilitating brain disorder. It is associated with abnormal neural circuitry, meaning the brain doesn’t fire off the way it’s supposed to. Side Effects […]

via Learning: What Is Borderline Personality Disorder? — Border Like Mind

A Divorce for the Past, Present, Future

So as something of a preface to the following let me just say that it has been an extraordinary (in both positive and negative ways) period of weeks since I last punched together something to share with the webs’ people. I had a few challenges about a month and a half back which resulted in my being asked to write a divorce letter to my “disease:….but not the quintessential “goodbye forever drugs” – but rather, towards however I envisioned that sickness which had driven me to be were it to wear a physical form. The suave smooth talking salesman, a blundering and demanding gargoyle, a bad ass mans man with a beard, a sexy woman teasing and seducing….whatever form i chose.
Hey baby you sexy thing,
Hey brother you filthy rock star.
Thank you for the stories,
Those staggering rides up with the comets,
Them epic nights rolling without pause into endless days.
Damn but we fucked well and,
Damn we sped past those pathetic sheep on the streets,
Damn we were a fireball of excitement,
A hurricane of insanity.
My sweet goddess of sin,
My destroying titan of hatred.
You blessed me,
You cursed me,
It’s time to walk away,
Sky, John, off with you and your false matrimony,
Off with this slavers collar on my finger,
Just like you spit in my face when the fun was done,
Feel the scornful gaze that your wisdom brought so many I once loved to cast upon me.
Sky, my lovely succubi, take your sinfully beautiful body,
Those promises of impossibly intense bliss that would never end,
Taste the disgust you draped me in before all I encountered.
My gruesome and powerful spirit,
My depiction of remorse,
Of emotion to be understood and chased,
My devil-may-caresofuckitallandwatchtheworldburn charmer,
John, even when you convinced me that I was doing something positive,
Always those that I wanted to hurt the least caught the brunt.
You made loving tantamount to self-inflicted emotional trauma,
Never again.
You both served your purpose, goodbye.
I divorce myself from my past including you.
From the present wherein my personality is lost in yours and all I can see and be seen as is as you made me,
From the future of which I know little,
With this freedom,
I embrace myself again to stand tall and walk with purpose and confidence to something brighter.
Where the voices are new,
The suggestions more pure,
Life lived more passionately instead of intensely.
-S

Lovesick – BPD on Day 2

Purging of love by force

Lovesick

Why is it that my words echo with such deep longing and feel so true,

But my actions call to task each syllable, each letter, each sentence,

Make me a liar in my own eyes, and shame me to the one I love.

Why is it that I regret each moment of time that I connect to another,

When I know that it will end in tears, that it will end in sadness, in another broken heart,

Because inside I never seem to change from the disgusting thing I’ve always been.

Why is it that the outside which feels so pure and grasps for grace blessed with integrity is so sweet,

When foulness runs afoot on seconds of impulse, chased spots of purgatory, whims of fancy,

Forever haunting myself with the tastes of beauty that I want the world to see me for.

That I think I can be.

But I deceive myself worse than all the rest.

I can never change.

So it seems.

And only God can forgive me in the end.

For I can never forgive myself.

-S

Restored.

Regrettably, today was the first time I delved into the world of Phoebe Chi (PuppyDoc). Words have a certain sensation bordering on synesthesia when their magic is unlocked. This is just a sampling from a remarkably prolific and talented writer that I sincerely hope you will enjoy as much as I am beginning to.

HEALTH | INSPIRATION's avatarHEALTH | INSPIRATION

Immortalized
within counterfeit fibers
of a petrified forest
are your sorrows
weighed with silt,
swallowed by shadows
of its own valley,
silenced beneath
the porcelain surface
of a visage pristine.

Banish them.
Let your tears cathartic
burn
these cheeks of mine.
Scour them with scars
of an ancient past
of an ache relived.
Let me bear the dusk
until from the womb,
emerged pure as
the morning dew,
is our love renewed.

7749081576_f256dba668

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The Stages of Borderline (BPD) – Day 1, Love

Each stage of a relationship with someone who has borderline personality disorder is intense. Love is where it starts.
There’s something special about you,
That smile crashed the walls of casual interest,
A charged promise that THIS TIME the puzzle pieces would fit.
I see you glowing surrounded by a halo of perfection.
You’re a cascade of hot, passionate, intensity,
But even a drop of you soothes until its painfully peaceful.
I need you.
You ignite everything that is Me,
And you tend the flames while I’m purified in the ecstasy of You.
I want you.
In every conceivable way,
Mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically.
The universe melts away and when you shudder in the moment,
I’m going to give myself to you so we can bathe in dreams from the inside out,
Kiss you softly on your eyelids and hold you as close as I can.
Can you feel it baby?
Love
Allpoetry.com – Original Post

Elegantly Disturbed Haikus #2

Spartan winks tell all, Shirking duty when eyes meet, Spellbound in such deep heat. Tentacles probing, Suction pads across sore lips, Beaks of hardened stone. Crystallize my veins, Wanton hate turn…

Source: Elegantly Disturbed Haikus #2

Ink Leaks

Spilling ink from your soul.

Loosening around the edges,

With screws tweaked hard until they’re embedded deep.

Frothy blackened ink flows with silkiness,

Out across the indents to smear your tools.

Graceful and petulant the grime shines,

A mirrored tone that shakes each reflection.

Fingers slide off in an impatient rush,

Avoiding the wandering glaze seeping out with each torque.

Whetstone polish to sharpen the blade,

That soldiering behemoth of broken muse will never do as bade.

ink-covered-face

Craterellus cornicopioides

From pseudonymous themselves

Because, are you kidding me. Verbal brain sex without a condom. Thank you pseudonymous #wordplay #poetry #crazy

I had a vision while everyone was sleeping that I would find you where the redwoods met the madrones I was to go there alone six years ago with my perforated medicine water bottle backpack two pape…

Source: Craterellus cornicopioides

NONFICTION — A Day in the Life

Thanks Twisted Sister {Ed. Note — the following is from the writer’s own site, a truly amazing high-speed journey through life.} Throughout the course of my life I’ve experienced the true extremes of the spe…

Source: NONFICTION — A Day in the Life